News Of Major Jerks
Breaking News! December 2020 By Staff Reporter Dixon Butz WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump refused to concede the election again today, but he and his lawyers are signaling the Republican Party that it is time to return to business-as-usual. Trump's personal lawyer L. Linseed "Lin" Wood stated on Twitter that GOP dignitaries in Georgia offered such little help on the President's fake claims of foreign treachery by a long dead Venezuelan and domestic ballot fraud, that loyal Trump fans ought to "sit on their hands" regarding the runoff election on January 5. Demanding crap, but expending no effort to achieve it (beyond attending gala banquets) is a hallmark of Republican governance, as is helping one another lose to play out grudges, and the Trump team seems to be signaling it is time to return to these norms, even though a double loss in Georgia would give Democrats both houses of Congress, along with Hollywood, Big Tech, and most of the soft-