Breaking News -Trump Demands Pentagon Line July 4th Parade Route With 30,000 “GI Joe” Action Figures
“These classic toy soldiers will teach Americans about their president’s great backyard fighting days in Queens. F earing a lack of participation by military families and patriot groups for his “reality TV” hijacking of the 4th of July parade in Washington, Donald Trump has instructed the Pentagon to line the route with 30,000 “GI Joe” toy action figures to enhance the crowd size. Trump is forbidding black or brown or yellow GI Joes from appearing in his parade, “because it’s not what my base wants to see.” T he president has also told his affiliated TV network, FOX News, to shoot the toy soldiers from a low vantage point “so they look really strong, life-sized and intimidating.” T he Fuhrer, er I mean President; has been wanting a yuge military parade to inflate his ego and waste taxpayer dollars, since stealing er, I mean taking the office, but has been thwarted in past efforts to recreate the kind of weapons-heavy displays like “my BFF Vladimir puts on in Moscow.” ...